The Case of the Mysterious Package Delivery

July 02, 2019

Last Friday evening, I received a very mysterious package.

The courier had contacted me a few days prior via Instagram Direct Message, coordinating time and place: being in public was crucial, as he couldn't reveal his identity. It all seemed rather cryptic, particularly his unpopulated account @overdose961 that reflected absolutely no followers or accounts followed. Naturally, I was reluctant to agree. But the element of suspense eventually got the best of me, and after cluing in my husband on the exchange, I succumbed.

So around 6:45 PM on the aforementioned Friday, I courageously met the masked man in a busy street, where passing cars slowed to snap his photo as he handed me a brown paper bag stamped with "OVERDOSE961." He indulged me with a selfie before jumping back into his car and speeding away.

Back in the safety of our home, I carefully opened the bag, which was wafting with the incredible aroma of something delicious. My toddler Stephen was more impatient than I, tearing back the lids to the two boxes tucked inside.

The bag and its contents

What we next beheld is in the photos below. Suffice it to say, the burger was mind-blowing, visibly prepared by "smoking" the loosely packed meat to create a tender, juicy and deliriously tasty beef patty tucked inside a supple bun and garnished with caramelized onions. The homemade skin-on fries, seasoned wedges and dill pickles indicated to me that this is a gourmet who values propriety and his paunch!

A dual order of burger and fries/wedges

Stephen making his hungry descent on the fries

Planting himself front and center with those fries

Here's the smoked burger!

Heaps upon heaps of caramelized onions!

So many questions plague me -- the man's identity, how he singled me out, what this is all about, and most importantly, when am I going to feast on that burger again.

The only clue I have comes in the form of a small black card nestled in the brown bag. It reads thus:

“You’ve been chosen! The bag you have been given contains 2 boxes filled with goods that guarantee your access to heaven. You, your family & friends can use the secret code mentioned on the back for future orders. Please do not share our number on social media.”

The chosen one

I’m going to honor that request and not publish the contact details here. But if any of you, after reading this, have a strong desire or urge to share in the experience, shoot me an email. The price per order, which contains precisely what I received – two burgers and two orders of fries – is $25.

I am holding out hope that more information will unfold soon in the way of Overdose961’s identity, motivation, and brand launch. The masked man twice made reference to my husband by name, which translates to one of two explanations: either (1) he follows my Instagram posts scrupulously, or (2) we are formerly acquainted with him, somewhere, somehow.

Time will surely tell when, if ever, our paths crossed in the past. For now, I’m still reeling with delight at those tender, juicy bunned beauties and earnestly anticipating my next séance.

If you know anything about Overdose961, enlighten me!