Two months have elapsed since I last penned a piece for my blog Beirutista. Blame the anomalous behavior on a drastic change in circumstances, at both the personal and national levels, that has left me conflicted internally. There’s so much I want to spill on paper, in the hopes that articulating my feelings will emancipate my mind. But at the same time, my thoughts are amorphous, and structuring them into eloquent, coherent prose would be a taxing exercise. Alas, I must try. So here goes. I departed from Beirut on 9 November, three weeks after the start of the people’s revolution took Lebanon by storm on October 17. My destination? Southern California, where my parents reside. We’d booked our tickets in late summer, far before the financial and political crises ravaged Lebanon. I’ve been here precisely eight weeks, and returning to Beirut, which continues to sink deeper into economic imbroglio, holds zero appeal. For the first time in my life, I have no desire to go back.