Only in Lebanon

  • The pervasive mentality that Lebanese are the best, brightest, and most beautiful people in the world
  • People who go around blabbering in French as a status symbol
  • Self-important girls who gush about their restless weekend activities (no, we don't care that you ate at Gaucho before clubbing at Buddha Bar)
  • Over-the-top weddings for which couples happily fall into debt
  • The popularity of stenciled Star Trek-like eyebrows
  • Nose-picking, which is more common than you might imagine (we can see you through your untinted windows, you know)
  • Men who grow out their pinkie nails (either as a nose-picking or coffee-stirring device)
  • Incessant honking of horns (especially taxis tooting their trumpet at every pedestrian--if we wanted a cab, don't you think we'd actively hail one?)
  • Drivers who tailgate or cut through lights
  • Drivers who pause to whistle at anything even slightly feminine in motion
  • Reckless scooters, especially the food delivery variety, weaving in and out of traffic
  • Flagrant littering
  • Poor transportation infrastructure (City Mall bridge overpass--need I say more?)
  • Greedy municipalities who don't pave over potholes
  • One way streets whose sense is not respected
  • Cars that park in unacceptable places (no, those are center dividers, not parking curbs) 
  • Cars that double park
  • Cars that mysteriously pass the smog test at the annual "mechanique" but in reality pump out more pollution than a refinery
  • Buses that stop in random locations to let on/off passengers
  • Mandatory valet parking everywhere, even for dinky little holes in the wall
  • Having to pay for parking at places you're patronizing--giving them our business isn't enough?
  • Smoking inside poorly ventilated cafes and restaurants
  • The loose ban on smoking: it may be prohibited in the mall, but feel free to light up inside any of its food outlets
  • Electricity outages--seriously? Egypt, with all its third-world woes, has never been cut off the grid!
  • Not having hot water on tap
  • Outrageously expensive dining: by God, Paris is cheaper
  • The prevalence of "international cuisine" restaurants: sushi, steak, pizza, and Lebanese all in one kitchen?!
  • Sandwich shops and cafes that pack a mere slice of deli meat in your baguette (please pile it on high!)
  • Fad fetishes for sushi, burgers, hot dogs, and cupcakes--move on already!
What have I missed?


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